I have never been the voice of reason. Never been one to always remain calm. Actually it has been quite the opposite for most of my life. I usually fly off the handle at the blink of an eye. Or I should say I used to. Now, I grit my teeth and walk away. I do that because I have come to realize that getting mad is giving power to everyone else and losing your own. Instead I have gained the ability to communicate with people in an effective way. I refuse to give them the power that is mine.
I try to be a peacemaker even though I get the feeling that people think that makes me a push over. This is false of course. I am not naive. I can tell when people are lying to me and trying to take advantage of certain situations. I more often then not will not allow that to happen to me. Every once in a while it does but I try to be my voice of reason.
The realization hit me today when I was talking with a friend. I think I like debating and writing things that make people think because I have a female Napoleon complex. I know that sounds silly but it really is the truth. No it isn't penis envy. I just really have always felt that I have to work extra hard to prove myself as a valuable person. Be it because I am short or what I do not know.
Question my intelligence and it is like you are opening up a can of worms that most people would rather keep closed. There are very few things in life that I am sure of but, one thing that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt is that I am no slouch when it comes to mental capacity. By no means do I think I am the smartest person in the world. I can think of people that would make me look terrible right away. But, I can also say that there are many others who can not.
At any rate, I have tried to explain things to people in a diplomatic sort of way. Most of the time it works and I can keep my cool. Sometimes I can not and when that happens I do step back and reevaluate what I am upset about. More often then not it is something that I just need to reword if even for myself.
Whenever you think you're getting ahead there is always something there to sneak up from behind. I mean that in the cleanest of senses.