I have been working really hard on a couple of different things lately. It is a nice feeling to have knowing that you are moving towards something that is your ultimate goal. Even if it is just baby steps. A baby step is still a step that doesnt go backwards. That means I am moving in the right direction.
This is a good feeling but slightly overwhelming at the same time. I mean, I keep telling myself that this is something that I have ALWAYS wanted and yet I am still nervous. Oddly enough though, the nerves are driving me forward. I am looking at everything with new eyes and realizing that maybe my hopes and dreams are not so far fetched.
Maybe in the grand scheme of things life isnt always going to be stuck the way it is. Maybe... just maybe. You dont want to say maybe to much though because then it becomes a dream and dreams are like promises and get crushed. So instead I keep my maybe's and what ifs at bey. I keep plugging away working toward the end picture. Maybe I have that in my head.
I am just a girl with a hope too afraid to let it be a dream. A girl with a wish that I will not add to the plans.
Above all right now at this particular moment I think I am content. Content with moving forward slowly but surely. But, I know that maybe this is just my restlessness in disguise. What a circular motion my mind works in. Even reading and typing this I am confusing myself.
Time to re evaluate