Saturday, August 18, 2012

Forgive Me

There are so many wishy washy people these days. It's rather disheartening. Everyone has a right to change opinions. I think at some point in our life we all have had a change of heart for one reason or another. What makes me sad is that people give up so easily on others. Someone that they would have given their last dollar yesterday is not even worth a penny today. We've all made mistakes, have regrets, done some pretty despicable things to others. I have anyways, but as humans we all have a chance to redeem ourselves to come back from that pit of despair and make it better. At least we have the ability to try and make amends. Everyone should have that opportunity to ”make it up” to others. I'm sitting here now with this anxious feeling in my chest not because of me particularly but because so many people are given up on. Tossed aside by society, their family, friends, or any number of people. Labeled as no good, worthless, stupid, and useless. No one is any of those things. You are something to someone. Even if it's someone you haven't met yet. It may be someone you won't know for years but, you can never stop believing in yourself. When you no longer give yourself that one last shot at redemption or forgiveness you've truly lost.
Lack of forgiveness seems to be the one last conviction people hold on to. I would give anything to go back and just make sure some people I know knew I still cared. I didn't give up on you. I still considered you a friend even though it had been years. I kick myself, miss you, regret not having one last conversation, and I've sworn since then I would never let that happen again. It would be nice to think that people still haven't given up on me. I'm temperamental, moody, I can be angry, and bitchy. But, I love people and care about them more than what most would ever know. I let people know where they stand. If you've found a place in my heart you have it forever. Even if we lose contact and move away from talking. Times will come when you'll cross my mind, I'll wonder how you are, and hope you're okay. 
For every wrong that has ever occurred between others and myself, it's been let go of. Sure some people are not those I care to know anymore but, that's the past. There is no grudge.
Trying to understand people is one of the most difficult things that anyone can do. Some are not meant to be understood completely. People are mostly an enigma that is left to the imagination of each person. No matter how open and honest we are as people no one is a complete open book. Everyone has that one thing... that one thing that just thinking about makes them cringe and talking about it seems completely unbearable. Personally I have about five or six different things that I can think of off of the top of my head that I refuse to talk about. Mainly because it is just too difficult. Being overly emotional is not something that I look highly upon and yet I am that person. I can be hurt, scared, made to feel like less than a person, and most of the time it is not done on purpose. I am just sensitive.
In the end though I just wish that people would stick up for what they believe instead of being persuaded by others. You have that right and if someone is upset that you feel the way you do then just remember they have that right. 

No comments:

Post a Comment